I was listening to the radio this morning and the host was telling a story about how she finds herself gauging her life goals by how far along other people are. Hearing someone else say that sounds silly, but if we take a second to do inventory on our own thoughts, we all are guilty of the spirit of comparison at times. Comparing your life to that of someone else is the worst thing you can do! Like Teddy Roosevelt said, "Comparison is the thief of joy."
I want to go into each day free of resistance to the good things in store for me. I want to finally be able to live up to my potential and aligned with my purpose. But, if I'm honest, I have some bad habits to get rid of before I can be free of resistance. The first of those is to give up comparison. With me, comparison doesn't always appear as itself, but when I dig deeper into my thoughts and feelings, I find that the root of majority of my bad thoughts are comparing myself to other people or to where I think I should be by now.
Let's unpack that last sentence for a bit. The easiest diagnosis of comparison is to check your emotions. When you are scrolling social media and you see those posts of people on vacation, hanging with their family, getting t he keys to their new home or car, or just relaxing with Bae, how do those posts make you feel? I'm not asking what you admit out loud. I'm not asking if you like the post or not. Sometimes we heart a post out of habit or to let someone know that we are keeping up with them.
I'm asking what are your hidden thoughts and emotions when you encounter that someone else with something you desire to do or acquire? That brief moment of envy or jealousy is a symptom of comparison, and often times you end up resenting or distancing yourself from the people that you think have what you want because it's easier to not see it. You'll stop calling as much or scroll past their posts. You may even accuse them of changing or come up with some reason (excuse) as to why things are different.
Another sign is the dreadful negative self-talk. Like when you see or hear of someone else doing something wonderful and you say to yourself, "I'll never be able to do that," "Must be nice," or "I can't enjoy things like that." Thoughts like these continue to confirm for yourself that the grass is greener in everyone else's life.
Comparison doesn't only happen over things and lifestyles. We compare everything! Parenting, spiritual journeys, jobs, free time, business success, relationship success, looks, intellect, prestige, family ties, you name it. And every time we judge ourselves based on what we think we know or see in someone else, we rob ourselves of inner joy and the ability to accept the things that are for us.
So, how do we stop comparing? I wish I could say that you just have to make up your mind to stop and like magic it would be done. In reality though, making up your mind is just the first step. After deciding that you want to change, you now have to practice the change over and over until you have formed a new habit. To stop the spirit of comparison, you must replace it with the opposite, the spirit of encouragement.
Comparison is a thought illness. So, likewise, the remedy begins in your thoughts as well. Comparison convinces you that good things are limited and that you will miss out because someone else already has it. But that's a lie! The universe is vast and there is enough room for other people to have good things and you too. There is no lack of goodness.
Secondly, energy is real. Vibes are real. The energy you put out into the universe comes back to you in an increasing measure. Some call this reaping and sowing. Seek and you shall find. Ask and you shall receive. All of these mean the same thing. What you focus on, you attract more of. So, focusing on lack and being envious only creates more opportunities to be jealous in your life.
Misery loves company, but delight is contagious. Instead of comparing, congratulate. Become and enthusiastic encourager of others. Celebrate the good things in others' lives. Instead of distancing yourself from those who are doing well, gravitate towards them. We absorb the energy around us and make it our own. When we are in the midst of positive energy, like when someone is celebrating, it charges your vibrations as well. Celebration, laughter, and loving actions physically make you feel better. But, the opposite is true also. Complaining, comparison, and negative energy change our vibration and make us physically ill.
Think about the symbolism of distancing yourself from goodness vs. gravitating towards goodness. That is exactly what we are doing on an energy and spiritual level. With our thoughts, our words, our actions, our energy, and our habits, we are literally pushing further away from or pulling further into feelings of joy. Notice that I said feelings of joy. Because life sucks sometimes and bad things will happen to everyone. But, joy is a state of being. Pressing into joy means protecting your energy when those negative things happen, and not letting a bad moment or event predict what you attract for your future.
So join me in my journey of living the vision and manifesting by taking a stand against comparison. Let us shift from the worst to the best. Let us have a future of celebration and success.
​Sha